Recognizing and Addressing Unspoken Team Dynamics

[00:00:03] Welcome to the Quick Take Podcast, the show where you get targeted advice and coaching for executives by executives. I'm Susie Tomenchok. And I'm James Capps. Give us 15 minutes and we'll give you three secrets to address the complex topic of issues that are challenging executives like you today. Hey, Quicksters. Welcome to Quick Take. I'm your host, Susie, along with James. How are you, James? Proud to be here. Proud to serve.

[00:00:30] Nice, nice, nice. So one of the topics, well, the topic we're going to talk about today and we're going to try to discuss it, maybe take a journey different than we normally do, but let's see how it goes. So the topic is silent signals, recognizing and addressing unspoken team dynamics. Ooh, sizzly. Sizzly. And I observe a lot when I'm working with teams, some negative team dynamics.

[00:00:57] I can tell when people aren't open to talking to one another, when they're not collaborating well together. I can see when trust shifts. And I think that I do this because I'm an outside coach and it's like what I'm looking for. Well, they brought you in for a reason. Yes, but I also think that my angle on this, and I want to just kind of bring my perspective on how I look at this,

[00:01:23] as when, if I put my leadership hat on and if I'm working with an executive, I often talk to them about looking at the dynamics of the team, like the entity of the team, the collection of the team as another area to have focus in. So let me give you an example. A lot of leaders think about the individual and how I need to develop this person and what kind of feedback do I need to give them

[00:01:48] and how do I need to coach them along so that they're always expanding and learning. But I think there's another piece of the collection. And how is the team doing and being observant of the dynamics around the table? No, I get your point. I think, you know, the sum is greater than the parts, so to speak, and that dynamic in and of itself is an entity that needs to be examined. I get that point of view.

[00:02:18] You know, I do more individual coaching than I do like a team dynamic. And I think, you know, I tend to focus, as you said, on the individual. I'm certainly trying to understand the team dynamics. So I don't spend as much time on that. I think, you know, you can get lost perhaps in that bigger mix. But I also think that while that's important, the other thing to take into consideration is the whole work from home, remote. You know, what is the team? And how does that team dynamic really exist anymore?

[00:02:47] And so for me, I try to look at how the individuals are behaving and talk about those things. And I think it's got to be a little of both because I think there's a radically different team dynamic than there used to be. And we have to be thinking about it that way. And I would say, I think it is really important to think about the dynamic of the team because, you know, like Google has said, they've said that they like to hire the collection together and put them in different places.

[00:03:15] Because that building of the context and the trust and understanding is in and of itself a really valuable asset for the company. It makes me think of I watched like behind the scenes of MASH and they were talking about how the group of actors together. Yes. Yes.

[00:03:40] The group of they they created this kind of this whole feeling. And when somebody would leave and move on, they they were really conscientious about not just replacing that character. It wasn't about that character that changed. This was a new entity to the to the group, to the team.

[00:04:01] And what the actors would say was that would that would raise their level because now they paid attention to the different chemistry that was associated to and it made them become better. So I think it's a great thing to even talk about with your team and be observant of is how is that team working well together? How can you enhance that or pay attention to adjustments that you can be helpful with if there's tension?

[00:04:31] Yeah. You know, as you were saying that I couldn't help but think of really, you know, that is, you know, MASH was a TV show in the 70s, I guess. But in today's context, the agile framework essentially says the same thing. You know, one of the things that I try to do as a technology person, if I have the opportunity, I want to keep that agile team together. And I want to move them around between projects because when they do get that dynamic right, they are better and stronger and they understand each other. And so to your point, treating the group as an entity does have benefits.

[00:05:00] And it does, as a leader, recognizing that that team has power as a whole more than the sum of individual parts, I think, is something that is real and something we should take consideration of. So let me give a couple, as you will, perspectives for people to think about. And then I'd love to hear yours. And let's talk a little bit about the remote piece as well. Yeah. But when I think about the collection, I think leaders need to actually do this.

[00:05:29] Like start to think about the collection of the team as its own kind of person, if you will, persona, if you will. And what does that look like? And pay attention to and ask yourself, how are people getting along? When you're in a staff meeting with people, identify, are people looking at each other? Does trust feel like it's being inhibited for one reason or another? Is somebody not talking up as much as they normally do? Watch and observe that.

[00:05:59] And then the second thing is another way to observe it is, what are people coming to tell you? Are you hearing one person complain about somebody else or very carefully framing to you that this person was wrong in this example that they're giving or something? And pay attention to that. Don't just jump in and try to fix it. But once you identify that there's something off with the team dynamics or there's something to do, be really thoughtful about how you maneuver and how do you help.

[00:06:28] It's so hard. And you're right. I agree with you. And I just recently was at a goal setting session for a company that had brought me in to observe. And the first day, all I was doing was watching how people responded to when the CEO spoke. Like, were people afraid to disagree with him? Did he ignore what they said? Were people just listening to see what his opinion was so they could share it? Yeah. Those realizing what that team dynamic is, is so important.

[00:06:56] I also think that the team dynamic is, is a thing and it is an entity, but it is a function of individuals. And at the end of the day, you do have to, you have to pay attention to that. And as difficult as it is, sometimes, you know, there is a bad apple. Sometimes there is a piece of the equation that isn't working or the team makeup is wrong. And I think that sometimes you have to get in under the hood and really tackle those items.

[00:07:23] When you are working with a team that's never in the same room, it's a very different animal. As a leader, it's really challenging to see who's making eye contact with, you know, when somebody, when everybody's in their jammies on their WebEx. And so you have to be more proactive, I think, as a leader. You have to start asking questions. You have to be probative. You have to start asking about the team dynamic because you can't always observe it. What are some of the questions that you ask for remote intel?

[00:07:53] You know, I just like, I like to ask if a people feel like they are being heard. I like to ask if they're having problems getting people to attend meetings. I mean, it seems too rudimentary, but it's really easy to skip a meeting or to disregard a situation because you're not there in the room. You're not there in the building. You can, you can dance around things. And so really just some of the fundamentals of showing up and being present, you know, you can ask if those things are happening within your team.

[00:08:21] While you can subconsciously maybe recognize those in person, remotely, you have to actively ask. One of the things that we're really starting to find is, you know, everyone needs to have their camera on because that makes a big difference. As petty as that sometimes sounds, that's a great way for you to understand the team dynamic is if everyone just has their camera on. I love asking people questions. And I would say, don't just do it in one way. Don't just ask them face to face. Like, I am them.

[00:08:50] Hi, today I'm asking questions. Text them. Yes. Yeah, like, but do it very casually and just not expect something in return. The other thing I like to do is I'd love to hear feedback. So send me an IM and answer this question and see who does and who doesn't. Oh, tell me more about that. Not to give a grade or anything, but then it really shows you. You know, they say that people really fill out surveys if they're not very happy or if they're very happy.

[00:09:18] And so sometimes you can get a little bit of the fringes, which is helpful. And then if you don't hear anything from people, that's not necessarily data to act on, but it is data to consider. What kind of IM or text would you send? Yeah, I would say, how did you feel about that meeting? Did you get all your answers? Do you feel like you have all the information you need to move forward with the project? Oh, okay. Those are good questions, obviously. Just not out of the blue.

[00:09:48] How are you feeling about the dynamics of the team and are you getting along with everybody? I think it does have to be contextually aligned. Obviously, when we're talking about it, it's easy to say, just ask, right? And you can write down three questions to ask, but you're really not asking those three questions. You're asking dozens of questions to answer that question. And so to your point, it's contextual. It's in real time. Do you, and you're going to, you're going to evaluate the team and you're going to hear the feedback about how you feel about the team.

[00:10:16] But you're not going to ask how you feel about the team, right? You're going to hear, you know, did you get what you needed? And those things will come out through those active questions. So I think you're exactly right. You've got to understand what you're trying to get at, but you've got to do it from multiple points and multiple ways. Yeah, I totally agree. All right. So what do you think, what of my perspective did you kind of, what's your takeaway?

[00:10:39] Well, I think that, you know, we have to remember that the group is an entity of itself and we have to kind of observe that as a person or a persona independently. Because I think if you don't do that, you lose sight of it. I think that leaders get caught up in the politics a lot and the individual personalities and we become too close or too friendly. And if we don't pay attention to that macro entity, that macro function, we don't really have the good, true sense of what's going on. How about from my point of view?

[00:11:06] When I think about remote, I'm glad that you still have tension around that whole idea of remote and how hard it is. Because I think that some people will say, well, we've done it so long now, we're experts at it. And I don't think that that is true by any means. So I do think that there's a lot of very strong intention in asking questions and getting feedback and being really connected. It's a really good reminder.

[00:11:34] I actually love that you said, turn your camera on. Right. Because that is like another thing that's crazy that you're still saying that. Yeah. That it's true. It's really important. Yeah. It's definitely one of those things where we've been doing it for so long, it doesn't matter. I know what they look like. Yeah, but that's not the point. This isn't a reminder. This is about being connected. And I think we're hopefully finding that we are better together as a people. And when we're working together and aligned like that, then we are just better as a company.

[00:12:03] So we should think that way. Good stuff. Yeah. This was a good one on Team Dynamics. Thanks, James. Thanks. Back to your childhood. What was one thing that you believed that you were absolutely convinced was true as a kid, but obviously it makes you laugh now? Oh, this is so random. I have so many, but this is the first one.

[00:12:29] Before you answer the question, I have to tell our audio-only listeners that the pensive look off into the sky was brilliant. And then it hit her like a train. There was no question what she was going to say. It was like her eyeballs practically knocked the camera off the monitor. And so drum roll, please.

[00:12:48] Well, I was the reason I that's so funny because I was going to say something about things that people believe that are very common beliefs that I believe for a very long time that I don't want to ruin for anybody. So that was my, my, my angst. And then I thought about, so I'm the fifth of five kids. And I remember for the longest time, believing that the way that all came about was we were all in my mom's stomach.

[00:13:16] But then when my sister was born, we all just kind of like, she birthed us and then we're right there. And then like the next sister, we were all like those, what are those dolls called? We were nesting dolls. And each time there would be a new one that would come out. I didn't have like the logistics around, you know, what happened. It doesn't matter. We can just think about nesting dolls, but I for the longest time believed that. Wow.

[00:13:46] That's, that's a mental picture that I show. You can't unsee. I know. I can't unsee. And I can't wait to, to talk to your sisters about that. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Quick Take, where we talk about the questions that are on the minds of executives everywhere. Connect with us and share what's on your mind. You can find us on LinkedIn, YouTube, or whatever nerdy place on the internet you find your podcasts. All the links you really need are in the show notes.