The Art of Advocating for Yourself

Welcome to the Quick Take podcast, the show where you get targeted advice and coaching for executives by executives. I'm Suzy Tominczuk.

And I'm James Capps. Give us 15 minutes and we'll give you three secrets to address the complex topic of issues that are challenging executives like you today.

Hey Quicksters, welcome to Quick Take. I'm your host, suzy, along with my favorite co-host, james. How are you, james?

I was hoping you'd say James. I thought there might be some other favorite co-host.

Well, in this room, in this room, this is time.

My favorite co-host on this particular podcast.

Well, I thought we'd talk about my favorite topic, and it's advocating for yourself, and I want to hear what you have to say about it, so I'm going to put you on the spot.

But oh man, yeah Great topic.

One reason that I wanted to talk about today is one of my clients was we were talking about some opportunities internally that he was overlooked and he felt invisible and what he described was some of his peers were asked to moderate a panel for a leadership conference. That was internal. Other people have been tapped on the shoulder and he's like why not me?

Right.

And so when he went and asked about it, inquired about it, those people asked if they could do it and he would have been given the same opportunity. He just didn't advocate for yourself. And we often think advocating means I want more money, I want a position, but advocating is so much broader than that. So what do you think?

Absolutely, and I think you nailed really a key element of this is this is a long-term thing, right? You can't advocate for yourself today and expect outcome. This is a long play. You've got to set the foundation and your opportunities are constant and always there and they're random and sometimes big and sometimes small. So you've got to play the long game when it comes to this and the things that I'll offer up as suggestions are part of that where you've got to realize that if you have there to be a change in behavior and others, you can't expect that overnight, Just like you can't expect your behavior to change overnight. So if you want people to see you in a different way and you want to advocate yourself for yourself strongly, you have to understand that it's a foundational. You have to build that foundation, you have to build that strategy and you have to do it over the long term, because it's not something you do on a Thursday.

And to that point, I love that idea of a daily investment of yourself, too, in other people's eyes, and it doesn't need to be something that you want specifically. But advocate yourself, can just be putting yourself out there, so that you're seen in a broader way, so that when those opportunities come up, your thoughts Right, Great Tia for my first suggestion and we joke about this all the time which is your default, should be yes.

When you ask someone you want to say yes, I can do that. Or are you interested in yes? And so when people ask me if I'd like to be interested in speaking, be interested in going somewhere, be interested in leading a group, be interested in part of a project or something, the default is always yes, and maybe parenthetically. I have no idea what that means Parenthetically. What is that? Again, where is that place? We have an office there. I had no idea and those details will work themselves out. And so often we immediately default to working out those details in your head before you raise your hand, look. And so often these opportunities are quick, they are through. Maybe there wasn't a lot of thought behind it, or it's just an idea. Hey, would you be interested in doing this? If you give the immediate response of give me two weeks to consider it, that's not going to really be a way of to highlight yourself or really put yourself out there. So, number one Just try to make your default yes and it'll change the way people think of you.

And I always quote you on this one because I think it is so powerful and there's nuances to it. Just don't pause. Just say yes with confidence and, like you say, figure it out later and you can be a part of figuring that out. It doesn't mean that person has a plan in their head which we believe they do, so you can help them. You'd like to say yes, yeah.

And I think that with folks or people on my team, it is literally me sitting in a room going, hey, would you be interested in doing this? That's it. You witnessed the entire thought process. It was a whole like two and a half seconds. And so now, if that person goes yeah, I mentioned that, well, let's dialogue on that together and we conclude you know what that's not good for you because you're in this time zone. Hey, but that's cool. But that dialogue allowed you to highlight yourself and be part of that discussion. But if you go through that in your head and go, no, I'm in the wrong time zone, that's not partnership, that's not advocating for yourself.

Yes.

Default.

Default. Yes, Love it. All right. What's number two?

The second one is really tough and it is the truly. You know this episode was titled the Art of Advocating for Yourself and this one is an art form. It is really highlighting your accomplishments and there's so much nuance to this and the challenge is of doing that in a way that is productive. You know knowing when to do it, when not to do it, doing it on a cadence that makes sense and not being overly repetitive. You know, when you start to hear your peers or others finish that sentence when I was at Comcast yes, james, we know you were at Comcast.

Yes, right, you're no longer advocating for yourself. You dug yourself a hole. You know, and we all have people that we work with that are constantly dropping that reminder, constantly trying to highlight some sort of accomplishment they've had. You know the reality is that does you no good, but you do need to find the time for you to say that in a way that is productive. You know, for me, when I do it, I rarely ever highlighted by pointing to a company that I was with right, because the reason you do that is that it somehow gives it some sort of value. You know, when I was the CEO of this company, that was unnecessary. Your comments should be measured on its own merit.

Your value should be measured on its own merit, if you don't find it, then you've already lost value.

You want your idea to come forward, and the fact that it came out of your mouth should indicate that you have experience there. And if you say, hey, I've seen it work this way, somebody will go. Where did that happen? Well, when I was the CEO of this company. Yeah different way of handling it, so you want to be sure that you're advocating for yourself in a way that is allowing you to be seen as a problem solver and an idea person, without it being somebody who's leaning on their laurels.

Yeah, that is so good, and I think you're right, it's an art, and we've seen people that don't do it well. They kind of lathered on too thick. But the other part of that is people don't live in our heads, they don't, even though your boss may know. This is a strength of yours. Reminding them is not a bad strategy, but you have. So two. Two, not having enough is a problem too. So it is that art art form of when and how.

And I think one of the great ways to to get good at something in general and good at good at something like this, is watch others learn from others yeah this is a really great opportunity for you to not do what other people are doing.

We all have that person who you know where the last three jobs are because you hear about it all the time, Right? So watch them in a meeting, see when the eyes roll, see when they raise their hand and they mentioned something they've done before. How that doesn't land in your culture, on your office and your in your team. Those are just good at learning opportunities. Take note, don't say this. Those lessons are out there. They're right out there and you see them daily. Take advantage of that.

Absolutely. Oh gosh, when you said that, three people flooded into my head years ago. I'm like that, bad example, bad example, bad example.

Yes, we all know, I mean, you know, and it is. There's lots of reasons for it and I and it's not always, you know, ridiculous and they're not always Machiavellian, but at the end of the day, you know, it's an art form and we're all trying to art, we're all trying to get better at it, and so, you know, you can see the people struggle.

Yes, Okay, that was good. Do you have a third? I hope so. Yeah, I think the third one is pardon me. I hope so, because that's your I have three.

It's just hardwired. I can't. You know, I always order three drinks. I always order three appetizers. It's hardwired. That's why this podcast is perfect.

The third one really is you know, seek feedback. And when you seek feedback from others, you're really highlighting some of the accomplishments that you've had, and so it's really a way of creating a dialogue with your manager, with your leader, and so there's a this again. Maybe it's a this is a corollary to the second one, which is, by having that dialogue, you can highlight your experiences without being so braggy and saying, hey, how did I do here, because when I've done this before, this is how it went. Or hey, you know, I'm presented to the board tomorrow. When I presented to the board, you know, last year or at my last company, everybody had to wear a tuxedo. Is that the case here? And so that allows you to to to do that Now, just parenthetically. Again, if you are presenting to a board and you have to wear a tux, call me, because I want to work there. That's crudely, that's fun. Regardless, the fact is is that by creating that dialogue and seeking feedback, you can do a great job of highlighting yours.

I think that's really great and I guess maybe a dot two or dot two of that would be. When you started going that way I thought also listening to how you're perceived like if somebody goes you know well, we'll let Susie do the Excel spreadsheet. And you're like, oh my gosh, I should not be the one. They have categorized me as an expert in this and I'm like I don't want to be the expert in that. It's a bad example, but it's only when I could think of it at the moment.

No, but I think you're right and I think that'll I'll call that our fourth one, which is when you're advocating for yourself. It's really goes back to understanding the foundation that you're at. You know, there's nothing more frustrating than I see around our organization where you see the same people getting tagged to do certain things. You see, it's really kind of a trope on television and movies where you know the boomer boss will say to the young new executive hey, honey, can you, you take notes in the meeting? But the truth is is that individuals get some sort of brand or an expectation and so you can be asked for, you know to be do certain things, and if you want to be seen as a presenter or a board member and you're not, it's important to know where you're, where you're starting from, and so if you're going to advocate for yourself, you know it's important to understand the brand that you have out there. So you can, so you can adjust.

Awesome, that was good. I love the bonus, so bring them all back for us. What are the three?

Move your default to yes, you know, start with your with a good foot forward and you can usually change the way people think of you and have people think of you. First, learn to really learn the art of highlighting your, your, your accomplishments. Find the ways to do it that are both additive and valuable. Build your brand without undermining your credibility. And then, third, seek feedback. You know, engage with leadership, understand where your strengths are, and that's a great opportunity for you to highlight your experiences. Then that that bonus round, that number four was, you know, check where people are seeing you, understand how you're being perceived. To understand how you need to advocate for yourself. Maybe you need to highlight skills or capabilities that you would need to think you would. You would think again, like you said, we're not in their heads. Know that they see you in one way so you can advocate for yourself on another.

Yeah, that was so good, I think. Such a so many missed opportunities around us. I really are that, having some of these Tactics at your disposal, or just that you're thinking of it, you won't even realize You've advocated for yourself.

Absolutely, and the truth is is that these opportunities come from a place of working with people who are struggling to. You know, solve problems. Leaders, your peers, the executives we're all trying to find good people to get things done, and if you're advocating for yourself, you're putting yourself out there. You can be part of the solution. Those are the people you want to work with and that's those are the people that you Won on your team, and so you know that's this is a real way for you to be a problem.

Yeah, you're helping them solve their problem. That was so good Way way to bring it home and give us all the value You're so good. There we go. Thank you awesome. Well, we're glad you're here. We continue to hear some great feedback and we would love to continue that. Or, if you haven't yet, reach out to James or myself. We're both on LinkedIn. We love to hear from you. We just love to know what's on your mind. That's the whole core of why we're here. So this has been quick take. I'm Suzy Along with my very good friend and favorite co-host, james, and until next time, we appreciate you. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of quick take, where we talk about the questions that are on the minds of executives everywhere. Connect with us and share what's on your mind.

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